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Projectile vomit boy

Flying to Beijing on Singapore Airlines

My story of getting from Melbourne to Beijing was definitely one of two halves. Not just because it stopped in Singapore at roughly half way but because the Melbourne to Singapore flight was horrific, where as the Singapore to Beijing flight was wonderful.
Both planes were absolutely full, I was excited for the first leg because it was on an Airbus A350, their newest all plastic plane.
I had not been on one before and being a dorky plane nerd, that is exciting. However they are really small for 9 abreast seating, much smaller than the Boeing 777 which is also 9 abreast seating.
I still fit in the seat fine, but the seats are very hard, they have made all the padding on them thinner to accommodate the smaller seat and claim its the same size.
This meant parts of me started going numb immediately, thats when I became aware that a spoiled brat of a kid one row in front of me was complaining non stop that he was hungry and being fed all sorts of crap food - chips, chocolate, chocolate coated chips, jelly beans, a milk shake the Singapore Airlines staff made for him, you name it!

Anyway, Despite being very uncomfortable due to a rock hard seat with bits digging into me, I was really quite relieved because I had performed a full medical inspection of everyone in my vicinity, and declared them all to be free of ebola, truly a first! Then there was some minor turbulence, then the commotion started.

It is amazing how much vomit can come out of such a little boy, first all over where he was seated, then mother leapt up and held him over the aisle, where I was seated, and slowly rotated him like a lighthouse shining its light over the sea, only instead he was dispersing 5kg of partially digested food.
The situation unfolding in terrifying slow motion was made more complex because the seatbelt light was on due to the turbulence, the guy next to me wanted to get up and go to the bathroom and vomit himself, so I stood up, in the vomit filled aisle, and let him out, only to get yelled at by the stewardess who was remaining seated watching all this unfold.

When they did come and clean up, it was a half arsed effort, they put on masks and gloves and used paper towels and then sprayed air freshener into the carpet, which smelt worse than the vomit. Meanwhile, I walked up and down the aisle wiping vomit off the soles of my shoes into the carpet.

Vomit story out of the way, we actually arrived at Singapore ahead of time, and my gate for my flight to Beijing was adjacent to the gate I got off the plane from Melbourne at, so I actually had an hour to spare, just enough time to run to the lounge and load 3 free drinks into my backpack and walk straight out again.

The flight to Beijing was on an old old 777, and it was wonderful. Yes it was noisy, yes it was full, but there were no kids, and I had blood flow to my extremities due to the older superior seat design. The only mildly humorous thing on this flight was they couldnt make the mood lighting work, and kept fiddling with it for the duration of the flight (remember it was a 1AM - 7AM flight). So it kept going from pitch black to brilliant shining white and then occasionally the whole system would pulse between various shades of colors like I was at a disco at 4AM when everyone was trying to sleep.
Despite the electrical short circuit which 9 times out of 10 would cause a fire in the wiring and bring the plane down over the South China Sea, we made it to Beijing 30 minutes ahead of schedule, and then waited for a gate to park at. Everyone was perfectly calm despite this set back and remained in their seats until the sign was turned off, which I thought was amazing, no one is getting a negative social credit score today! Google it, I support this social credit system.

So now I am about 8 hours early to check into my hotel, not sure if I actually slept and therefore sipping a very good quality coffee in the Beijing arrivals hall admiring the brilliant clear blue sky out of the terminal window.
I promise there will be actual picture of things soon!